Traveling With ADHD?
I recently had the experience of traveling again, for the first time in a couple of years, on an overseas trip to Italy, visiting Milan, the Cinque Terre villages on the western coast, Tuscany, and Florence. Fabulous, right?
It was an amazing trip. The weather was perfect, the scenery was beautiful, AND, the planning and driving was all done by friends with experience traveling in Italy!
Being the first trip I have taken in a long time gave me a “beginner’s mind” approach, an opportunity to observe my experience in a new way. Because I have you, my ADHD audience and community, I can speak freely about what it was like for me as a person with ADHD, and how I noticed my need to actively manage myself throughout this wonderful trip.
When you ask me, “How was your vacation?” I will say, “It was amazing! The food! The weather! The scenery!”
What I will privately tell you guys is how sitting on an airline flight for nine hours is essentially torture for me, and had to be managed with gum, snacks, movies, a book, music, a podcast, and regrettably-brief naps.
Thank goodness, someone else did the negotiating when we missed our connecting flight to Milan and had to take an extra flight to Germany from which we then flew into a different airport in Milan — I could detach and just tell myself to “go with the flow.”
And the little differences of travel: the packing and unpacking; the hats, umbrellas, and sunscreen; crowded streets and sidewalks; getting lost; challenging steps and hills; and strategizing food, coffee, and bathroom stops… Wow, I sound like such a whiner; and yes, I think that’s how I perceive myself.
The reason I am willing to talk about it here is, I became very aware of how much energy, or bandwidth, it takes me to manage all of my sensations - and in addition, try to be present to, and enjoy, where I am!
I’ve learned over decades to try to not express to others all that is going on inside me; I know it is irritating to them and that they do not understand: It is just what we call “complaining.” Who wants to be a complainer?
Yet for me, it is my internal reporting that I cannot avoid! I have to manage it! So the process of deciding when to communicate out — as in, I need to find food; I need to find a bathroom; I need to rest — itself takes a fair amount of energy and attention.
For this trip, I was I was lucky to be traveling with friends who were understanding, and to whom I could say things like, “I would like to be the person who takes the boat ride, or the trail hike, so let me consider if that is something I can get comfortable with.” (I did, and am glad I did.)
I know a lot of people are planning car trips and plane trips at this time, and if anything good can come of my experience and my awareness, it is the possibility to have compassion for yourself and your others. To help yourselves by thinking ahead about how you will manage discomfort. To consider how to distract yourself and take care of yourself during what might be uncomfortable moments. And how you will remind yourself to look around and appreciate where you are, because this is simply what it takes for you to be there.
Prepare in advance by setting expectations of what will happen, and bring along distractions and accommodations. Bring the kids into the conversation, so they can think about it and participate in preparation. And above all, express understanding and normalize the discomfort of travel, help to put it into context: “We are traveling in order to be able to spend time with grandma and grandpa or, to be at the beach. Yes, travelling does require us to respond to different circumstances, but we can do that: we will appreciate the differences when we can, and do our best when they challenge us.”
Buon viaggio!
ADHD Life Support is the blog of
Susan McGinnis, CALC of ADHD Impact Coaching LLC
Coaching adults with ADHD www.adhdimpactcoaching.com