Doing the Work for Happiness - Podcast Recommendation
I’ve noticed that ADHD seems to just come with bouts of restless dissatisfaction that can spiral into depression, result in impulsive decisions, and just make it hard to be around.
From my experience, learning how to engage with that particular frame of mind starts with awareness of it: “You, again.”
For me, recognizing it as a mood is very helpful - because otherwise, I am likely to take it too seriously. (It might mean that something needs to shift, but not everything.)
Everyone should know about the brain’s default mode network - the reflexive scanning and ruminating that brains do when not actively engaged - because it clarifies that worry is not a personality problem - it is an attention management problem.
It is possible to actively learn to work with your thoughts to shape your mood and inform your actions: that is, after all, a primary purpose of coaching!
And it is a practice - not a “fix” - just because of how we are, as human beings. Learning about ourselves and our cognitive flexibility gives us opportunity to shape our experience.
All to introduce a great conversation on the topic of happiness, meaning both “with” your life and “in” your life. I encourage you to listen to the entirety, because there’s so much here worth hearing.
But at least, take this point about doing the work, and how what we think makes us feel good may actually, not:
“I think happiness takes work. Like all good things you got to put in some work to get there, and part of that work is understanding the misconceptions. But part of that work is, we don’t often have the best instincts about what will make us happy. The things that we want to do in life are not necessarily the things we’re really going to enjoy, or like, or that will give us a meaningful life.
But part of happiness really is about being present. There’s so much evidence that when we’re mind wandering, when we’re not fully present, that that’s a time when we’re also not very happy.”
PODCAST RECOMMENDATION: Laurie Santos, a psychology professor and happiness expert, talks with Shane Parrish for his podcast, The Knowledge Project in episode #139 Laurie Santos: The Pursuit of Happiness. (Laurie has her own podcast, The Happiness Lab.)