Supporting Your Coaching Decision
Making, and “defending,” the decision to get a coach may be hard to do.
There a a number of possible reasons related to ADHD itself:
Procrastination “I know I could use some help, but I can’t deal with it right now.”
Shame “I’m just a mess.” “I don’t want anyone to know how it really is for me.”
Fear of the Unknown “I need to figure this out first.” “I’m not sure I want to change.”
Lack of Self-Trust “I’m not a good judge of what I need.” “I won’t get the benefits.”
Lack of Self-Worth “It’ll be wasted on me.”
Lack of Agency “My partner doesn’t think I should need this.” “My partner doesn’t agree that coaching is worth spending money on.”
Hope “Maybe things will get better. I’ll wait and keep trying.”
Unwillingness to Get Help “I can do this myself. I’ll keep trying.”
You might hear these underlying beliefs:
That getting help needs to be justified.
”It’s not that bad.” “If I wait it out, things will change.”
That spending money to help you manage is a sign of deficiency.
”I don’t want any more focus on me and my difficulties.”
That you’re not worth spending money on.
”I’m not that important.” “What if nothing changes?”
That you should be able to get the results you want on your own.
“I’ll manage.” “I’ll just keep trying harder.”
My response: Help is available, and you are worthy of help.
If you’re considering coaching, it’s because you are experiencing difficulty and have concerns. This remains true even if you can’t find the words to explain or get buy-in from others. ADHD is known as the “invisible disability,” because the impact is internal.
You can learn how to find calm and focus your mind. It will take practice, and coaching is designed to support both the learning and the practice.
Coaching is not a quick fix for a crisis. If you wait for an undeniable crisis to seek coaching support, feelings of pressure will get in your way. The first step will be to move out of the “fight, flight, freeze” mode into calmness; from there, we can begin to explore for clarity around the nature of your difficulty and problem-solve solutions. This is besides the fact that waiting for things to get worse is a tough way to live!
My message to you is something no one really tells us: “You matter.”
You depend on you. Others may depend on you as well.
Only you know how things are for you.
No one else can make things different for you - only you have that agency, and that responsibility.
Coaching benefits you and everyone around you. We go to school even though we know that an academic degree is not a guarantee of success, because we have a shared wisdom that enriching our minds expands our possibilities. In a similar way, coaching can never guarantee a specific outcome. But like education, working with a a coach is an investment that will pay off in your growth, well-being, relationships, and future.
Welcome to ADHD Life Support,
the blog of Susan McGinnis of ADHD Impact Coaching,
where I share resources, ideas, and information with my community: www.adhdimpactcoaching.com